i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
