is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
