let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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