Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
