So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
