I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
