I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
