so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
