So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There's always time for handjobs
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
