I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
