Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
