I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i barfeds in our rink
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
