i need an iv and a liver transplant
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So many bounce houses so little time
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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