I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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