so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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