It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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