that's an acceptable place to lick
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
