I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
