Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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