I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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