what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
