you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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