you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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