we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
