I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
