I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
