i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
