I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize