doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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