I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
