i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
