went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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