you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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