One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
