So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
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