I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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