There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
