At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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