their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
