oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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