matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I want her autograph on my taint
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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