I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
