she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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