then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
