I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
