"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
