WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
