theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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