i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
