I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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