from now on my penis is your penis
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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