Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
They have beer where we have blood.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
