You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
should my penis look like a turkey
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
