Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
