I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
