You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
