i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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