Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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