They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
