your room smells of hookers.
And success
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
