No awkward lesbian experiences without me
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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