So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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