Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
