But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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