I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
