community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
