when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize