The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
