Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
